Wife declines a weekend with her husband's friends in a nice manner, but now the husband is mad at her regardless: 'I maintain I can decline an invitation without giving a reason'

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My husband told me we were invited to a weekend at a nearby resort with 3 other couples. Did I want to go? I said "no but please make sure you thank the host for the invitation". He kept pestering me and I kept saying no thank you. I finally snapped around the 6th mention of it and told him why I don't want to go. His friends are all retired (I would have to take one day off work) and all they do is sit around and
A group of friends hanging out outside. Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
drink all day and talk about a sport that doesn't interest me. I also do not drink. I can do this for parties and dinners, but not a whole weekend. Now my husband is irritated but I maintain I can decline an invitation without giving a reason. AITAH? He thinks I don't like his friend group.
via NoMeat9329
oop_norf He thinks I don't like his friend group. I think you don't like his friend group. You really sound like you don't like his friend group. But that's OK, you're NTA for not having the exact same tastes in people and activities that he does. And you're NTA for saying that -
via NoMeat9329
there's nothing wrong in telling him that you're not interested in a sports and booze weekend when you're not in to sports or booze. What's not clear to me is why you think that saying that is 'insulting his friend group' or why you'd feel the need to keep your reasoning a secret in the first place. Why were you so evasive when he asked why you didn't want to go rather than just being open and honest? Isn't there anything in your life that you like and he
via NoMeat9329
doesn't and don't you just do those things without him? There didn't really need to be a conflict here - as soon as it came up your response should have been simple and true - "I'm not really interested in what you and your friends are going to be doing and I don't want to put a dampener on things, you go, have a great time, I'll see you when you're back. Thank them for inviting me though".
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A couple hugging. Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.
I_like_flowers_ NTA - why can't he go on his own? edit: and yes, you can decline an invitation and you were perfectly polite.
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Awkward-Anybody5179 Sounds like you don't like his friend group.
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MisterKnowsBest My wife does not go with me to these things, unless I need her to for some reason. I do not really care if my friend group is offended by it or not. My responsibility for people's happiness starts and ends with my wife.
via MisterKnowsBest
ExcitementAny 5089 NTA...but he is right. It appears you don't like his friend group.
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sum-9 NTA. Drink armchair commentators are the most boring people on the planet. Along with Harley riders and corvette owners. I think there is a Venn diagram relationship.
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ConradSuckss YTA, if I ever told my wife I thought her friends were boring and I didn't want to hear them recap real housewives for the millionth time, I'd be sleeping on the couch for a month. If she is continually asking me to join her on a couples weekend with her friends that is clearly important to her, I go because sometimes you suck up being around people you don't 100% love to support your partner and engage with their friends.
via ConradSuckss
I know reddit LOVES the idea that you don't owe anyone anything, but this is your spouse. You DO owe each other respect and support, and I feel like if the roles were reversed here and he told you he didn't like any of your friends you would be just as annoyed.
via ConradSuckss
thisisnotpatrick- If everyone else is retired it sounds like everyone is too grown to be caring or hurt if one person doesn't attend. I read it's the first trip with "the wives" - okay, so what? That doesn't mean it's required for you to go. Especially if you would have to take a day off work for it. Honestly, I'm in my 30s and I'm already at a point where I'm done pretending to like things I don't. You can love people and still respectfully say this
via thisisnotpatrick
isn't for me. It doesn't sound like you ALWAYS say no to your husband's event stuff. It is OKAY to say no.
via thisisnotpatrick
Beavis 71989 But you did decline because you dont care for his friend group. There's nothing wrong with that, just be honest with your husband. My friends invite my wife when we go out to breweries and she came once and then never again. Its not her thing. I wouldn't be mad if I was doing that for a whole weekend and she didn't want to go.
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